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‘Your mine Crystal. You and John are mine.’ He would say in that deep voice of his. He would pull us into the casket with him, the cover slamming shut as he said. ‘I always keep what’s mine.’ Usually at this point I would wake up shaking. For some reason though my mind wouldn’t let me wake up at that point this time. I looked over at my mom. ‘I dreamt I was buried alive. Buried with Danny. I think he is trying to destroy me even from the grave.’ Mom quickly crossed the room, pulled me into her arms and just held me. ‘No honey, he can’t hurt you now. It is just your own guilt at hurting him.’ She looked at me. ‘You blame yourself for him dying don’t you?’ I looked at her. ‘Of course I…’ I stopped, I was gonna say of course I don’t. But then I realized that in my own way I did blame myself. I told myself over and over that if I had never slept with Hawk, then Danny wouldn’t have pulled away from me. If he hadn’t pulled away from me then he wouldn’t have tried to drive home that night. Before we knew it, I was as hard and as horny as it could be. I was in her and we were fucking and kissing and making love like two passionate lovebirds do it to one another. We were fucking each other’s lights out. God it is wonderful being married to her. And the kids didn’t even know it either. I’ve never told you this but I’m 39, she’s 37, and Patti is 26. I don’t usually mention it but although Suzanne is 37, she does not look it, physically whatsoever. That’s what makes her so great. She has the body of someone in their late 20’s. Honestly she does too. Me, well I look as if I’m 39, and Suzanne has said I don’t act like it but I do. Anyway, our next concert was around 40 miles away from home. Wow, I thought. Only 40 miles away…that’ll be great. I can come in, play, and then leave and get home right away. Or so I assumed I could but it never happened that way. “Hiiiii Carter honey,” it read. “I saw it! I mean I saw the announcement about your next concert. You bet I’ll be there.
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